No. 107

Sometimes i don't know if i'm sane now and used to be crazy or if i used to be sane and am crazy now but i guess i'd be insane to think i knew.

No. 106

I'm lying through my teeth, when i laugh, when i smile, at you.

I strive for your approval. I fear your judgment.

I listen to the music, but all i hear is noise.

No. 105

I stepped back and took a look at the big picture before i stepped forward to light the bottom corner aflame and assemble my paints and brushes.

No. 104

There are not good and evil people. There are people who do wrong, and people who do worse. Everyone has the same capacity to do good or evil. We are all human.

No. 103

I want to save someone who will thank me by returning the favor.

No. 102

So i haven't posted in a while. Not sure what to say. A lot has happened and not a lot has happened. I wish i kept up with this better. My conversation logs are a better record of my life. I'm not sure how to keep up with this.

Anyways, i went to Canandaigua, New York with Robin and the Hayashis. It was fun. I have a piece of paper from the trip with some notes:

• Sadness is not a part of me, just a state of being. 
• I guess i've always felt attached to being depressed.
• Brittany was sexually assaulted when she was twelve. 
• I had just found that out before the trip and i guess i wanted to write about it. I have no idea what i should do about posting information about others on this blog. Nobody reads it, so it's okay, right? Sort of like posting it on a sign in the middle of some woods that nobody ever goes through.
• I owe Robin a lot for my current state of happiness. 
• Yeah, i felt happy. You can still see some really sad undertones there though. 
• She's everything i want to be. 
• She's together and all that. I'm not. Still, i guess i wouldn't give up who i am. 
• I will be your ugly friend
• to make you more beautiful

It seems like when i have stuff to write about, i put off writing it. Hm