It's a simple game, really.
His hands danced and danced but only wished that they could sing.
So i'm really more depressed than i should be. Things really did move too fast i guess. I'm single again. I'm so needy. Well, here's the story:
I knew i had to talk to her about the whole open relationship thing. I found her yesterday when an a capella version of Otherside came on in art and i just left the room and went to the computer lab. Then i went back to art to finish up and get back to Brittany. I walked her to g-block since i had a free and i waited for her. When she came out for third lunch, we went up to Elizabeth's class where she always hangs out.
We sat around and talked, and i finally asked her if she really wanted an open relationship. She didn't know, but in hindsight that could've meant yes, but i don't know. I asked her if she liked anybody else. She said she likes like 100 people. I said i didn't feel so special anymore. I only like her. I asked her if she liked me. She said yes. I asked her if she really liked me. She said yes.
Sadly, i had actually planned this out in my head. If she were so indecisive, i would kiss her and ask her what she'd felt when i did it.
I told her i wasn't looking for an open relationship. She said she knew; nobody is. She was either really indecisive or just had a lot of trouble breaking up with me. She told me there was actually this guy she was in love with. When i asked who, she said "silly kid." Silly kid was the answer i got when a wile ago, i asked her who a fellow named David was. She'd mentioned him more than once and i had seen him mentioned in her profile and away messages back when we'd first met that referred to him as her boyfriend. Now get this: he's 21, they've never met, it's been like this for like 10 months, and he lives in New Jersey.
"This complicates things," i said. You know, she's funny. Haha i feel like Holden Cauffield. Then again, i've always been able to relate to him in some way even though i don't think i'm really like him. She's working on Catcher in the Rye in English class right now. She's crazy. What is it with me and crazy girls? She kills me. I feel a little better all of a sudden. Hmm..
Anyways, i tried asking her a series of questions over and over to try to get her to choose. Did she want to be with me or not? Did she want to be my friend or my girlfriend? She wanted to be friends but still be able to kiss... I told her that would not be okay. I kissed her. I asked her if that's what she wanted and just to be friends. I told her that couldn't be. We went in circles for a while until there was a lull. I kissed her again when she wasn't expecting it. "That wasn't a friend kiss," i told her. Finally, she said we would just be friends, the block ended, and i went to class.
It hit me that i was all of a sudden alone again, not that we really had the chance to build up any sort of real relationship, but i actually liked her. I dunno if i felt regret but that seems like the closest word to whatever it was that i did feel. I just don't usually ever feel regret. Well, it was short-term so i dunno. I took the history test and i got out of class 30 minutes early. I went and waited for her the entire time. Stupid, pathetic little me went back to her in a futile attempt to get her to change her mind on a decision that i made her make. Elizabeth showed up to join the waiting party too. When Brittany got out of class we went to Elizabeth's locker, and-- oh wait. I forgot to mention something.
Backtrack to after she decided she just wanted to be friends and after i made it clear that meant no kissing, she tried getting me to kiss her and i wouldn't. Now back to the locker, she went to steal another kiss, and i don't know if it was because i wasn't able to think fast enough, or that i didn't want to stop her at all anymore, but she got it. It wasn't fair. I begged her to change her mind. I knew she wouldn't.
Waiting for the bus, i ran into Molly who told me that my girlfrind was cute. "Yeah...she just broke up with me" i told her. She was pretty apollogetic and pointed out that i didn't seem to be very invested in the relationship. It was weird to hear her say that, and it certainly didn't make me feel better about the whole situation. Although now, i'm not even sure how i liked her or what it was that i liked. Did i like her for all the wrong reasons just like i was afraid i did?
Well, when i got home i left her some messages on IM and when she got back she replied but i gave up. It was so pathetic. Then the mail came and the movie that we were supposed to watch together on Friday came. She said we still could but i said okay, maybe. Then she said fine, we won't or something and i just never replied.
Then my fantastic computer upgrade came, the only thing that was keeping me at all together. It was something i could look forward to, but when i put it all together, it didn't work. There was no video signal. I tried a million times to get it to work (which requires me to keep cutting off the power over and over). Then, i forgot to cut off the power and a spark flew from the power connector to my hard drive and i was like SHIT. Then, the video signal came up but it only worked using the digital to analog adapter. Now it wouldn't get past the BIOS post screen. Eventually it randomly allowed us to get to the BIOS setup and a couple of times it got to Ubuntu but there was no internet even with a wired connection. After trying more things, i haven't seen Ubuntu again so i don't know what to do.
I didn't really sleep the night before so i was exhausted and i just fell asleep. Today i decided to stay home from school. I should really be getting my work done. She had finally gotten me motivated enough to be on time every single day since vacation (up until today at least) and stay caught up with my work. What do i do now?
His hands danced and danced but only wished that they could sing.
So i'm really more depressed than i should be. Things really did move too fast i guess. I'm single again. I'm so needy. Well, here's the story:
I knew i had to talk to her about the whole open relationship thing. I found her yesterday when an a capella version of Otherside came on in art and i just left the room and went to the computer lab. Then i went back to art to finish up and get back to Brittany. I walked her to g-block since i had a free and i waited for her. When she came out for third lunch, we went up to Elizabeth's class where she always hangs out.
We sat around and talked, and i finally asked her if she really wanted an open relationship. She didn't know, but in hindsight that could've meant yes, but i don't know. I asked her if she liked anybody else. She said she likes like 100 people. I said i didn't feel so special anymore. I only like her. I asked her if she liked me. She said yes. I asked her if she really liked me. She said yes.
Sadly, i had actually planned this out in my head. If she were so indecisive, i would kiss her and ask her what she'd felt when i did it.
I told her i wasn't looking for an open relationship. She said she knew; nobody is. She was either really indecisive or just had a lot of trouble breaking up with me. She told me there was actually this guy she was in love with. When i asked who, she said "silly kid." Silly kid was the answer i got when a wile ago, i asked her who a fellow named David was. She'd mentioned him more than once and i had seen him mentioned in her profile and away messages back when we'd first met that referred to him as her boyfriend. Now get this: he's 21, they've never met, it's been like this for like 10 months, and he lives in New Jersey.
"This complicates things," i said. You know, she's funny. Haha i feel like Holden Cauffield. Then again, i've always been able to relate to him in some way even though i don't think i'm really like him. She's working on Catcher in the Rye in English class right now. She's crazy. What is it with me and crazy girls? She kills me. I feel a little better all of a sudden. Hmm..
Anyways, i tried asking her a series of questions over and over to try to get her to choose. Did she want to be with me or not? Did she want to be my friend or my girlfriend? She wanted to be friends but still be able to kiss... I told her that would not be okay. I kissed her. I asked her if that's what she wanted and just to be friends. I told her that couldn't be. We went in circles for a while until there was a lull. I kissed her again when she wasn't expecting it. "That wasn't a friend kiss," i told her. Finally, she said we would just be friends, the block ended, and i went to class.
It hit me that i was all of a sudden alone again, not that we really had the chance to build up any sort of real relationship, but i actually liked her. I dunno if i felt regret but that seems like the closest word to whatever it was that i did feel. I just don't usually ever feel regret. Well, it was short-term so i dunno. I took the history test and i got out of class 30 minutes early. I went and waited for her the entire time. Stupid, pathetic little me went back to her in a futile attempt to get her to change her mind on a decision that i made her make. Elizabeth showed up to join the waiting party too. When Brittany got out of class we went to Elizabeth's locker, and-- oh wait. I forgot to mention something.
Backtrack to after she decided she just wanted to be friends and after i made it clear that meant no kissing, she tried getting me to kiss her and i wouldn't. Now back to the locker, she went to steal another kiss, and i don't know if it was because i wasn't able to think fast enough, or that i didn't want to stop her at all anymore, but she got it. It wasn't fair. I begged her to change her mind. I knew she wouldn't.
Waiting for the bus, i ran into Molly who told me that my girlfrind was cute. "Yeah...she just broke up with me" i told her. She was pretty apollogetic and pointed out that i didn't seem to be very invested in the relationship. It was weird to hear her say that, and it certainly didn't make me feel better about the whole situation. Although now, i'm not even sure how i liked her or what it was that i liked. Did i like her for all the wrong reasons just like i was afraid i did?
Well, when i got home i left her some messages on IM and when she got back she replied but i gave up. It was so pathetic. Then the mail came and the movie that we were supposed to watch together on Friday came. She said we still could but i said okay, maybe. Then she said fine, we won't or something and i just never replied.
Then my fantastic computer upgrade came, the only thing that was keeping me at all together. It was something i could look forward to, but when i put it all together, it didn't work. There was no video signal. I tried a million times to get it to work (which requires me to keep cutting off the power over and over). Then, i forgot to cut off the power and a spark flew from the power connector to my hard drive and i was like SHIT. Then, the video signal came up but it only worked using the digital to analog adapter. Now it wouldn't get past the BIOS post screen. Eventually it randomly allowed us to get to the BIOS setup and a couple of times it got to Ubuntu but there was no internet even with a wired connection. After trying more things, i haven't seen Ubuntu again so i don't know what to do.
I didn't really sleep the night before so i was exhausted and i just fell asleep. Today i decided to stay home from school. I should really be getting my work done. She had finally gotten me motivated enough to be on time every single day since vacation (up until today at least) and stay caught up with my work. What do i do now?
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