Please don't tell anybody about this blog. I'm making it public but that doesn't mean that i want anybody else to know about it.
So Tuesday night, technically Wednesday morning, it was almost 1am and i just went for a walk. I walked down to the park, waking slowly and steadily and it felt great. It's so quiet at night. There's just enough light to see, the air is cool and somewhat damp and i love the smell. I felt a little better but i still felt like crap. I came home and sat in front of the stereo in the basement and listened to Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap. Then i went upstairs and as i walked up the stairs this feeling suddenly overcame me. I was overwhelmed by the urge to run to Jazzy and tell her how sorry i was. I'm sorry i'm a bastard. I'm sorry i'm weak. I'm sorry for everything. Then i couldn't handle saying sorry and letting go of how she lied. It's not even like i was actually saying sorry or anything, i was just thinking it, but it felt like i was. I feel like i'm talking to a brick wall.
Last night i didn't go right to bed. My mom made me spaghetti and i at a ton of that before i went back to sleep at like 11:30 and woke up at 5:30. Yes, i woke up at 5:30. It was crazy. Anyways, i'm going to go outside before i go insane. Bye now.
So Tuesday night, technically Wednesday morning, it was almost 1am and i just went for a walk. I walked down to the park, waking slowly and steadily and it felt great. It's so quiet at night. There's just enough light to see, the air is cool and somewhat damp and i love the smell. I felt a little better but i still felt like crap. I came home and sat in front of the stereo in the basement and listened to Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap. Then i went upstairs and as i walked up the stairs this feeling suddenly overcame me. I was overwhelmed by the urge to run to Jazzy and tell her how sorry i was. I'm sorry i'm a bastard. I'm sorry i'm weak. I'm sorry for everything. Then i couldn't handle saying sorry and letting go of how she lied. It's not even like i was actually saying sorry or anything, i was just thinking it, but it felt like i was. I feel like i'm talking to a brick wall.
Last night i didn't go right to bed. My mom made me spaghetti and i at a ton of that before i went back to sleep at like 11:30 and woke up at 5:30. Yes, i woke up at 5:30. It was crazy. Anyways, i'm going to go outside before i go insane. Bye now.
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