It's not quite 6am but i'm getting up anyway. I haven't been able to sleep through the night last night or the night before (since i've been going to be early)-- i hope i didn't really fuck up my sleep schedule...
I had a dream i was J.D. from Scrubs and i think Jazzy may have been Elliott but i'm not sure. We were at some funeral or something and everyone was walking through the woods or something. Elliot was upset and stuff so i tried helping her. When we were crossing some bridge, Dr. Kelso had her by the arm and was asking her if she was planning to run away. Later, i was like, "See? Everyone cares about you." Then we got to the swings and apparently i was dating Julie because she was there and so was Elliot's boyfriend (i think).
The dream got weird from there. I remember trying to get the last seat but didn't and Turk got up so i could sit next to Julie but i wanted to sit next to Elliot or something. Then someone was swinging and accidentally kicked someone and it was really akward-- sounds like something Julie would do.
Is it sad that i actually had a dream about Scrubs?
So thinking about why i got so wrapped up in Brittany-- i'm thinking maybe i still haven't gotten over my obsession with losing my virginity to some other beautigul virgin. Remember the whole first kiss with Jazzy fiasco? How it killed me that our first kiss wasn't her first kiss? Remember how it killed me that she was doing stuff and would be doing other stuff with Kyle? Well i guess i got past the fact that i would no longer be able to have everything happen with that one special person so was Brittany just somone i moved these desires on to? I didn't even realize i was still posessive of her. I mean i was okay with things i guess because i thought she wouldn't be involved with anyone because of her internet boyfriend. I don't know what else to say about this. I'm tired.
You know it's so much harder to appreciate than to expect appreciation? I think we should all be appreciative of everything and not expect appreciation of anything. I mean when you do something you know everything you had to do but when you get something, you only know the outcome and none of the work that went into it. Well for the most part anyways.
I had a dream i was J.D. from Scrubs and i think Jazzy may have been Elliott but i'm not sure. We were at some funeral or something and everyone was walking through the woods or something. Elliot was upset and stuff so i tried helping her. When we were crossing some bridge, Dr. Kelso had her by the arm and was asking her if she was planning to run away. Later, i was like, "See? Everyone cares about you." Then we got to the swings and apparently i was dating Julie because she was there and so was Elliot's boyfriend (i think).
The dream got weird from there. I remember trying to get the last seat but didn't and Turk got up so i could sit next to Julie but i wanted to sit next to Elliot or something. Then someone was swinging and accidentally kicked someone and it was really akward-- sounds like something Julie would do.
Is it sad that i actually had a dream about Scrubs?
So thinking about why i got so wrapped up in Brittany-- i'm thinking maybe i still haven't gotten over my obsession with losing my virginity to some other beautigul virgin. Remember the whole first kiss with Jazzy fiasco? How it killed me that our first kiss wasn't her first kiss? Remember how it killed me that she was doing stuff and would be doing other stuff with Kyle? Well i guess i got past the fact that i would no longer be able to have everything happen with that one special person so was Brittany just somone i moved these desires on to? I didn't even realize i was still posessive of her. I mean i was okay with things i guess because i thought she wouldn't be involved with anyone because of her internet boyfriend. I don't know what else to say about this. I'm tired.
You know it's so much harder to appreciate than to expect appreciation? I think we should all be appreciative of everything and not expect appreciation of anything. I mean when you do something you know everything you had to do but when you get something, you only know the outcome and none of the work that went into it. Well for the most part anyways.
Hopefully Robin will be home today. I really miss her. Two whole weeks without her! Too much!
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