Jazzy doesn't understand a lot of things. She told me she didn't understand why anybody would chose to eat alone somewhere. I ate alone after school yesterday and i thought of that.
The little opinions and mannerisms and those types of things that you may notice on a person in the first few weeks or maybe months of getting to know them don't mean much of anything until you really know them well enough to understand how they reflect upon character.
My eating habits have become as bad as my sleep habits. I didn't eat at all today, with the exception of around 8 Froot Loops from Molly, until 10pm tonight.
I see Jazzy closer to Eli than she was to me while we were dating and i don't doubt that they'll start going out again. They're all huggy and flirty. She'll explain that the series of events that transpired was as unpredictable as emotions themselves because she can't help her feelings. I am simply at bay to her game. What she can't explain is why she always downplays everything she does, even though it always leads up to what she said it wouldn't.
I talk a lot about Eli and Jazzy here but this isn't really about Eli. I'm just being as open as i can and i don't want to hide things to make them seem like something they're not.
Jazzy and i have been through so much and we've both done bad things, but she seems to spin my story and twist hers so that all the things we've done are at least on par. Like i mentioned before it's another way she makes it seem like a competition. She tricks me and trips me up on the way she phrases things and pulls these delusive and crafty word games. I mentioned before how she gets annoyed when i ask her questions. She feels like she's being interrogated and she gets irritated at me when she expects me to not be at all irked by how she deceptive she can be. If something is wrong that isn't my fault i still say sorry. She says it's okay. She does something and i'll tell her it's not her fault and she doesn't have to be sorry even sometimes when it is and she should be.
As much as i wish i could tell about Jazzy without demonizing her so much but she's really the one who has demeaned herself. I try to include as much of her side of the story as there is, the only thing is there isn't much of one. Well obviously there is, but she'll present something that's been disproportionalized.
Here, i go on and on identifying everything Jazzy has done, identifying all of these incidents and bad things, but i don't get anywhere and she doesn't get a word of it. Not that it would make a difference if she did. I just need to get this all out i guess. It's something she's never truly allowed me to do. I want to just drop everything and start over. I don't have a doubt that i can't do it and it's worked very well before. Things just got way out of control. I might not use any advice i was given, but i'd still like some additional perspective.
Well, i'm really glad i have somebody who i've stayed in touch with for years just emailing back and forth every other day, somebody who is always really down to earth and caring, somebody who gives great hugs and is a really cool friend, and somebody who can relate to me, talk to me, and articulate my thoughts for me. Thanks everyone, here's to you.
The little opinions and mannerisms and those types of things that you may notice on a person in the first few weeks or maybe months of getting to know them don't mean much of anything until you really know them well enough to understand how they reflect upon character.
My eating habits have become as bad as my sleep habits. I didn't eat at all today, with the exception of around 8 Froot Loops from Molly, until 10pm tonight.
I see Jazzy closer to Eli than she was to me while we were dating and i don't doubt that they'll start going out again. They're all huggy and flirty. She'll explain that the series of events that transpired was as unpredictable as emotions themselves because she can't help her feelings. I am simply at bay to her game. What she can't explain is why she always downplays everything she does, even though it always leads up to what she said it wouldn't.
I talk a lot about Eli and Jazzy here but this isn't really about Eli. I'm just being as open as i can and i don't want to hide things to make them seem like something they're not.
Jazzy and i have been through so much and we've both done bad things, but she seems to spin my story and twist hers so that all the things we've done are at least on par. Like i mentioned before it's another way she makes it seem like a competition. She tricks me and trips me up on the way she phrases things and pulls these delusive and crafty word games. I mentioned before how she gets annoyed when i ask her questions. She feels like she's being interrogated and she gets irritated at me when she expects me to not be at all irked by how she deceptive she can be. If something is wrong that isn't my fault i still say sorry. She says it's okay. She does something and i'll tell her it's not her fault and she doesn't have to be sorry even sometimes when it is and she should be.
As much as i wish i could tell about Jazzy without demonizing her so much but she's really the one who has demeaned herself. I try to include as much of her side of the story as there is, the only thing is there isn't much of one. Well obviously there is, but she'll present something that's been disproportionalized.
Here, i go on and on identifying everything Jazzy has done, identifying all of these incidents and bad things, but i don't get anywhere and she doesn't get a word of it. Not that it would make a difference if she did. I just need to get this all out i guess. It's something she's never truly allowed me to do. I want to just drop everything and start over. I don't have a doubt that i can't do it and it's worked very well before. Things just got way out of control. I might not use any advice i was given, but i'd still like some additional perspective.
Well, i'm really glad i have somebody who i've stayed in touch with for years just emailing back and forth every other day, somebody who is always really down to earth and caring, somebody who gives great hugs and is a really cool friend, and somebody who can relate to me, talk to me, and articulate my thoughts for me. Thanks everyone, here's to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment