I never ended up really crying Sunday night/Monday morning. I was too tired and i just ended up passing out. I didn't do any work at all. Yesterday ended up being pretty bad. I missed the carpool again and came in to school late. School was pretty miserable, then after school i walked halfway home and then got picked up by my dad after i had gotten over the big hill on Newtonville Avenue. I got home and i got in bed and then i phoned Jazzy or the other way around and i was tired and i broke down and it was horrible. Everything sounds so final but she says that it's not and they she still likes me, and the she wants to try to get this to work just not right now. It's all so frustrating. I've gotten to the point where over the past few days, my head is constantly throbbing and my eyes are always itchy and dry from sleep deprivation and crying every day.
She has plans with Atenia and Eli on Friday and she tried to hide it again. She has always tried to hide when she's going to be doing something with Eli. She still does it. I ask her why she's busy and she says that she's hanging out with Atenia-- but now i know to ask if it's just the two of them. She did the same thing with Joe and Isaak. Her excuse is that it's only because the plans are more solid with Atenia but she wouldn't do this with anybody else. If it were anybody else she'd say she had plans with them too or at least say that they might be coming. Not with Eli. She says she doesn't like him, and not just to me either, but it's so troubling to me the way she flirts with everyone. In middle school, i was a huge flirt, and i didn't see it. Then i changed and i just expected the same from her. Last night she finally caved and took the blame for what happened. Still, she just doesn't want to deal with this anymore. She's so misleading and ahh i don't know what to do.
So after we got off the phone i stayed up late and my internet died so i couldn't make another entry and i stayed up trying to run down my ipod battery like Lily told me to (I just got a 30GB iPod Video by the way) and then i just showered and went to bed at like 3:30-4 in the morning. We drive the carpool on Tuesday and we were ten minutes late for the second week in a row and everybody was probably so pissed. I need to git it together....
Today wasn't too great of a day but after school Kay drove me and Jazzy into Harvard Square to go shopping for a little bit. We actually were really pressed for time but we managed to get bubble tea and pizza. I got mango slush with boba and she got a kiwi slush with boba. I actually had to go and buy the bubble teas and the pizza while she was shopping because we didn't have enough time. I went to bed when i got home and woke up a bit before 9. Since then, i've just been putting Rockbox on my iPod and ripping my CD's as FLAC files and then i'm going to put them on my iPod.
She has plans with Atenia and Eli on Friday and she tried to hide it again. She has always tried to hide when she's going to be doing something with Eli. She still does it. I ask her why she's busy and she says that she's hanging out with Atenia-- but now i know to ask if it's just the two of them. She did the same thing with Joe and Isaak. Her excuse is that it's only because the plans are more solid with Atenia but she wouldn't do this with anybody else. If it were anybody else she'd say she had plans with them too or at least say that they might be coming. Not with Eli. She says she doesn't like him, and not just to me either, but it's so troubling to me the way she flirts with everyone. In middle school, i was a huge flirt, and i didn't see it. Then i changed and i just expected the same from her. Last night she finally caved and took the blame for what happened. Still, she just doesn't want to deal with this anymore. She's so misleading and ahh i don't know what to do.
So after we got off the phone i stayed up late and my internet died so i couldn't make another entry and i stayed up trying to run down my ipod battery like Lily told me to (I just got a 30GB iPod Video by the way) and then i just showered and went to bed at like 3:30-4 in the morning. We drive the carpool on Tuesday and we were ten minutes late for the second week in a row and everybody was probably so pissed. I need to git it together....
Today wasn't too great of a day but after school Kay drove me and Jazzy into Harvard Square to go shopping for a little bit. We actually were really pressed for time but we managed to get bubble tea and pizza. I got mango slush with boba and she got a kiwi slush with boba. I actually had to go and buy the bubble teas and the pizza while she was shopping because we didn't have enough time. I went to bed when i got home and woke up a bit before 9. Since then, i've just been putting Rockbox on my iPod and ripping my CD's as FLAC files and then i'm going to put them on my iPod.
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