No. 30

I was really tired when i made that last post. I'm at home today. I wasn't prepared to face school today. As if things didn't seem final enough before, i just talked to Jen and she made it clear that Jazzy does not like me and that "SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH [ME] ANYMORE" I'm sure Jen has only heard Jazzy's side of the story, but if Jazzy's side of the story is that she does not want to be with me anymore in all caps then there really isn't much hope and i'm not sure how much longer i can deny that for. She said that i absolutely need to get over her and that it's better to hear it from her than Jazzy. It's so devastating to feel like this is it, like this is really it. I think that i would rather hear it from Jazzy though. It'd hurt even more than this does but she'd finally be giving it to me straight, actually, i'm sure she'd be able to twist it. Still, i want her to just be honest with me and i'd love to just get everything out to her. Give it to her straight; finally make things clear. Maybe i'll invite her to this blog. My conscience is telling me that that won't help at all.

I still have hope.